


Panty-Remover Pasta

by belmanoir



Category: Canadian Actor RPF
Genre: Multi, past Nick/Callum
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-01
Updated: 2012-04-01
Packaged: 2017-11-02 20:52:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,406
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/373211
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/belmanoir/pseuds/belmanoir
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nick and Sue invite Callum over for dinner and put the moves on him. Successfully.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Panty-Remover Pasta

**Author's Note:**

> References Hugh/Callum and Callum/Polly Shannon. Set during the 2010 Winter Olympics. PWP. The existence of "panty-remover pasta" is canon. It is important to note that the first a in "pasta" is pronounced aah, paasta, not ahh, pahsta. Unbeta'd.

Callum runs into Nick and Sue at the women's hockey gold medal game. He spots them a couple rows down and over about halfway through the game but waits till after the game to approach them. It's the first flush of victory over the Americans. Callum, making his way towards them, sees Nick pick Sue up and swing her in a full circle, her feet in the air. She laughs triumphantly and he yanks her in for an exuberant kiss. They're glowing. They glow. If the cameras caught half that chemistry for _Men in Trees_ it must have been a ratings goldmine.

"Hey," Callum says when he gets close. Nick grins at him like a Cheshire cat. He's not as happy as Sue though, who throws herself into Callum's arms and hugs him. It's a good hug.

"Cal!" she shouts. "We kicked their ass!"

He grins back at her. "Yeah we did." He's going to shake Nick's hand but before he can Nick hugs him too. 

"Hey man, how's shooting going for the new show?"

It's a little embarrassing. He cannot remember what the fuck Nick's working on. "On hiatus for the Games."

"Sounds like a fun role," Nick says. "It's too bad they made you shave the beard, though."

Callum eyes him for signs of sarcasm and then decides he's just paranoid because Hugh hasn't stopped saying _He's good cop and bad cop rolled into one_ and cracking up at least three times a week since Callum landed the job. "It is. It's a part with a lot of range so I can kind of explore within the character. Plus I haven't done an action role in a while."

"Weren't you in _Gunless_?" Sue asks.

What is this, the Spanish Inquisition? "Yeah, but you know, that's a Western. Cops and robbers with Glocks is different." She nods. "I thought you guys were in LA these days," he says. "You're on that show with the sexy RNs, right?" Maybe he shouldn't have said that.

She raises her eyebrows and smirks, but she nods.

"Sue's just fantastic in that role," Nick says proudly. "We're up here for the Olympics. It's nice to get home."

"Hey, you want to come over for dinner?" Sue asks. "Nick's cooking."

He doesn't have plans with Polly tonight--she's at figure skating with friends and is planning to make a late night of it. "Sure." Belatedly, a thought occurs to him. Sue has a kid, he's pretty sure. "Hey, where's the munchkin?"

"She went to figure skating with her friend's family," Nick says. "She's excited to see them after being in LA for so long. She's sleeping over with them." For a second Callum thinks Nick's leering at him, but then he decides he must have imagined it. Which is not his fault. The last time he saw Nick was at the X-Files premiere. He has had a quantity of near-hallucinations about Nick's mouth since then. 

###

"What are you making?" Callum asks as Nick chops happily away.

"Just a simple pasta dish." There's that leer-hallucination again. Maybe it's some _Gaslight_ shit and Nick is trying to make him think he's crazy. He could probably use this feeling for his work on _Shattered_. Behind him, Sue giggles. 

"What's funny?" he asks.

"Ohhhh, nothing..." she says in a melodramatically faux-innocent voice and giggles again. Nick grins at her over Callum's shoulder. His eyes glint with affection. The two of them are real cute but they keep doing this giggling shit all through dinner. 

"Okay, what is so funny about pasta?" he demands again the third time it happens.

Nick leans forward. His lips part. "Do you like it?" he asks in a low, rough voice.

Callum swallows. He would just ask _Are you flirting with me?_ but maybe that's weird in front of the guy's girlfriend. Anyway, the pasta is great. Like comfort food but with this sassy little twist. "It's fantastic." He shovels some more in his mouth.

###

After dinner they sit on the couch and talk shop. For five minutes. Then Nick and Sue exchange looks, and Nick leans towards him. "Are you and Polly monogamous?" He says it like he's begging to be fucked. Which actually he is, now Callum thinks about it.

"No." He glances at Sue. She watches the two of them, eyes bright. He doesn't really know her but she seems nice, she's a good actress, and he's been looking at her tits all evening. He wondered if they were heading here, but he kind of figured it was wishful thinking on his part. Guess not.

Nick leans in closer. "Then can I kiss you?" And he just waits there, his mouth inches from Callum's, until Callum says, "Yeah, okay."

###

Fifteen minutes later, Nick is in his lap panting like a phone sex operator. All they've done is kiss. Callum is suckerpunched and turned on and very, very hard. This was his favorite thing about sex with Nick, the few times they've hooked up. He's either one of the most enthusiastic, responsive lays Callum's ever had or he's an even better actor than Callum thinks. Callum's okay with both options. He pinches Nick's nipple, and Nick moans with breathy intensity and opens his mouth wider.

"Okay, bedroom," Sue says, and Nick lets go of Callum abruptly and stands up. It's a little disconcerting, like kissing for the cameras and then bam, it's over, but this is supposed to be real. 

###

If Callum had to come up with one word to describe the bedroom, it would be "cozy." Or maybe "quaint." Lots of light wood and a patchwork quilt on the bed. Callum isn't sure it's a place where it's okay to think about sex. 

###

The patchwork quilt is folded neatly on a chair. Somehow Nick is already naked. The couple times they've _been_ naked, Nick's always ended up naked before Callum, even though he also always has a weird self-conscious moment when he takes his shirt off. Sue is attaching him to the headboard with padded leather cuffs she pulled out of a box in the closet. Nick is looking up at her. 

Until this moment Callum never fully got the meaning of a "Come hither" expression. It's mostly in the eyes and mouth, but that isn't all it is. Nick's whole body is a silent invitation, just the way he's sitting. He's hard. Callum is ready to come hither but he's not sure what the rules are. Sue seems to be calling the shots, which is A-okay with him. He waits. And yep, when Nick's good and cuffed, Sue turns to him with a friendly smile. "I was thinking you could fuck me, how do you feel about that?"

"Good," Callum says. "Real good. But, uh--"

Sue leans over and gives Nick a quick kiss on the mouth. "Oh, Nick likes to watch." She pats him on the thigh and crawls over one of his spread legs to get to Callum. Nick watches her like his eyes are fucking made out of lasers. Which Hugh would say is a tired metaphor but there's a hot babe crawling into Callum's lap, metaphors are _not_ a priority. "Come on," she says in sultry tones. "Let's get you out of your panties." Nick snickers.

Callum puffs out his chest in comical indignation. "I wear boxer briefs," he says, just affronted enough to get a laugh from both of them. But he feels a little uncertain. Just because he's not sure what the joke is. 

"I know," she says. She knows? Nick talked to her about his underwear? "It's just..." She straddles him and starts undoing the snaps on his shirt. He loves that sound. "Remember the pasta? Nick has a friend who calls it his panty-remover pasta, because he makes it when he has someone over he wants to put the moves on."

"And that works? Can I have the recipe?"

"I think the secret ingredient is love," Sue says affectionately, and smiles at Nick. She pushes Callum's shirt off and starts on his pants.

"Hey hey hey. I, uh--" He points at her shirt. "Work with me here."

She grabs the hem of her shirt and pulls it over her head. Fuck, her tits are fantastic. He reaches around her to fumble with her bra. A second later she's topless. Oh, yeah. He cups her breasts in his hands. They're heavy and round and soft. When he lifts them Nick makes a little sound. Callum holds her up with an arm across her back and bends to suck one of her nipples. He makes sure it's the one nearer Nick so he can see. 

Sue makes a sound and tilts her head back. Her dark hair swishes across his forehead. She balances with one hand on his shoulder and starts working at the button on her jeans. Callum does the same and soon they're both awkwardly trying to push their pants off without her getting off his lap. Nick giggles. Callum glares at him and almost falls off the bed when the leg of his jeans catches on his foot. But then she's naked and tugging his boxer briefs off. Little Callum springs free happily. Sue takes the condom from between her teeth (somewhere in getting her jeans off a condom appeared between her teeth) and opens the wrapper. "Here, you want to put it on?" She hands it to him. 

While he's putting it on he looks at Nick. Nick's biting his bottom lip. He is looking at Callum's cock like he wants to suck it. Callum rolls down the condom. It feels good, and he gives himself a couple of strokes, watching Nick's face. Sue straddles him again and suddenly there her pussy is, right above where he wants it. "Come on," she says. She starts to sit and he guides his cock into her. Nick's breathing is more or less a soundtrack at this point. When Sue's all the way down, she kind of wiggles her hips to get comfortable. Nick whines.

Callum pumps his hips a few times. Sue squirms and hums and chuckles as he gets her hair in his mouth. This is real nice. He guides her up and down with his hands on the amazing curve of her ass. "Ahhhh," he says. "Ohh, yeah. Your girlfriend's got a real tight pussy, Nick. Maybe you don't fuck her enough. Maybe I'll have to come by sometimes and--"

Nick's heavy breathing quiets. "Hey man, don't talk to her that way."

Callum blinks and leans back to look at Sue. She shrugs unapologetically. "Sorry," he says, feeling embarrassed. "He loves it when I say shit like that to _him_."

She smiles. "Nick's a little old-fashioned. And you're not fucking him."

Callum's a little _annoyed._ What do these people want? But he takes a deep breath and tries to figure it out. Sex, like acting and golf, should be about the people you do it with, if you do it right. The three of them are creating something together. He's been letting himself get tense that he isn't going to meet their expectations, but that's just going to screw him over in the end. 

Nick doesn't want games tonight. Okay. Then he just wants to watch Callum fuck his girlfriend. Callum can work with that. Boy howdy can he. Abruptly he feels a lot better about everything. He gives Sue his most sincere smile. "Sorry," he says again. "What do _you_ like?"

She smiles back. "This," she says warmly. "This is great." She rolls her hips, and Callum gasps, his head falling back. She leans down and kisses his neck, fucking him slowly. This could take a while, but that's Nick's lookout, not his. He braces himself with one hand against the bed and goes exploring with the other. He can't keep his hands off her breasts. "You have amazing t--breasts."

"Thank you. You've got amazing hands." She kisses him again, her mouth honey-smooth against his. Her hips are starting to get urgent. She puts a hand between them to rub at her clit. 

"Let me," Callum says. She pulls back, her eyes dilated and laughing, and raises her eyebrows. "C'mon," he says. "Fingering yourself is like playing your favorite song on your iPod. Me doing it is like hearing your favorite song on the radio."

"That's a great line," she says, sounding impressed. It's Hugh's line, really, although the original was _handjobs_ and _Walkman_. Fuck, they're old. "Knock yourself out."

He rubs his thumb along the edges of her pussy, getting it nice and wet. She and Nick moan in unison. He slides his thumb up and rubs it over her clit. "You win this round," she says. 

It's actually tricky to get the rhythm right while she's thrusting against him like that, so he gives up all hope of coming first and focuses on her. She's breathing in fast little pants and moaning and pushing against him so her breasts drag across his chest. He rubs in fast little circles. He hears Nick's cuffs thumping against the bedpost and looks over. Nick doesn't look like he's trying to get out, just like he likes the way that feels. Like he needs to feel something. 

"Oh, God, harder," Sue says. He slams into her a few times, smooshing his hand between them. She kisses him again. He slides his tongue into her mouth once, twice, three times--she clutches his shoulder hard and comes. He keeps fingering her even after the contractions slow down and she slumps against him. Eventually she goes fifteen seconds without a ripple and he stops.

"Mmm, nice hands," she mumbles, laughing weakly and pushing him down on the bed so she can lie on his chest. He's not really fucking her anymore, but he's still inside her. He can't keep his hips from moving, just the tiniest bit. She pushes herself up to look at him, and he gasps. "What do you want?" she asks.

"Uh." Callum clears his throat and looks at Nick. Is this disrespectful? "Can I fuck your tits?"

Nick lays the tip of his tongue on his bottom lip and watches Sue, who shrugs bonelessly and smiles. "Why not?" 

Callum closes his eyes for a second and thanks God. 

"Are you clean?" she asks. 

His brain has to reboot into word-land so it takes him a second to answer. "Yeah. Uh. Yeah, I am."

"You sure?" Nick asks warningly.

Polly made him get tested when they started going out again. "I'm sure."

Sue beams at him and pulls off the condom, leaning over to drop it in the garbage can by the bed. He ogles the line of her back. Then she flops down on the bed with her head between Nick's spread legs. Nick's eyes widen. So do Callum's. When he bounds over and straddles her torso, Nick makes a noise like he's dying. From this position, Callum could just lean over and suck his cock. But...he is not going to. 

Sue fake-yawns and stretches, dropping her hand on Nick's calf and arching her back so her breasts separate and then settle back together. Callum moans and puts his hands on them again. For a minute he just plays with them, moving them up and down, flicking his thumbs across her nipples, pushing them up like a Wonderbra and then letting them go so they bounce. Her face is amused and sated. When he messes with her nipples she hums and pushes up her hips, but there's no urgency to it. She'd let him do this as long as he wants. 

Callum glances up. Nick is biting his lower lip again. When he sees Callum looking at him he lets it slide through his teeth. One corner of his mouth curves up. Callum is impressed at how debauched he manages to look when no one's even touched him yet and he's sitting on flowered cotton sheets. "Come on," Nick says huskily. "I'm getting bored over here."

Callum laughs, but he spits in his hand and strokes himself a couple times for lubrication. Then he spreads Sue's breasts apart and slides his bare cock between them. "Fuuuck," he breathes.

"Attaboy," Nick says. It's the dirtiest thing Callum's heard in a while. He holds her tits tight around his cock and goes at it. She props herself up on her elbows to watch. After a minute she bends her head forward to see if she can reach his cock with her tongue, laughing when she misses. Nick squeaks. She tries again on his next thrust and makes it, the tip of her tongue swiping across the head of his cock. Callum makes a strange vowel sound and she says, "Yes, ha!" with a pleased grin and does it again.

"Don't come on her face." Nick's voice sounds strangled.

Callum is mildly disappointed, but he says, "Okay. Sue, you should not do that again." She does anyway, and he jerks back just in time, taking his cock in his hand for the rest of his orgasm and coming all over both her breasts. Nick relaxes into the mattress like _he_ just came. Callum climbs off of Sue and tries to breathe. "Should I, uh, get you a towel or something?" he asks, not entirely sure he can walk yet.

Luckily, she shakes her head and sits up, his spunk dripping down her tits. She turns around. Nick makes a needy noise. She waddles to him on her knees. "Lick it off, would you?"

Callum's jaw drops. But Nick is not surprised at all. He jerks his head forward like he was waiting. Like finally he has permission. He starts at the bottom and follows the trail up. Sue leans in and holds her breasts up for him. Even once Callum's come is all gone, he keeps licking and sucking, like a dog making sure he hasn't missed any bacon bits on the carpet.

Finally Sue sits back on her hauches and starts on the buckles of the cuffs. "What do you want, Nick?"

Nick is kind of sweaty and desperate-looking at this point, but he still looks at Callum and smiles. "Callum's our guest. Why don't we let him decide?" 

Callum laughs. He fucking loves Canadians. He loves fucking them, too. He kind of wants to suck Nick's cock, but he'll probably have opportunities to do that in the future. Who knows how many opportunities he'll have to direct his own personal porn film starring Nick _and_ Sue? 

Nick's not going to last long, so he decides to keep it simple. "I want to see you fuck her," he says just as Sue gets the second cuff off. Nick tackles her onto the mattress with a growl. The two of them giggle and kiss. Nick looks at Callum slyly out of the corner of his eye. 

"You're breaking the fourth wall," Callum says, reaching out to run his hand over Nick's shoulder. He has great shoulders. Nick laughs and shivers and swivels his head around to suck on the ends of Callum's fingers. 

Sue wraps a leg around Nick's waist, and he pulls off Callum's finger with a pop to tangle a hand in her hair and kiss her reverently. "You're amazing," he says earnestly.

Callum leans to the side and stretches his neck so he can see Nick's cock slide into her. Nick buries his face in her neck--but, Callum notices, he makes sure that one eye is still open and visible. Callum's pretty sure that's for his benefit. It's really hot. The two of them have done this a million times, and now they're doing it for him. They're letting him see it and change it. Sue pushes her hips up, and Nick gasps and groans and makes an all-around hilarious amount of noise, his hand sliding familiarly over her hip and squeezing. He comes about thirty seconds later. It's anticlimactic, but since this is not in fact a blue movie, no one cares. His cock slides out of Sue with a squelching noise. Callum wishes he didn't have a refractory period.

After a minute, Nick raises his head. "There's ice cream in the freezer."

"Wha--?" Callum clears his throat. "What?"

Sue grins at him. "We have to keep our strength up for round two."

Callum blinks. Maybe this _is_ a blue movie. Or Heaven. One or the other. "What flavor?" he asks.


End file.
